Upon a Kiss
by Scarlet Secret
Summary: How the life of Caroline Bingley changes from what she was to what she will become
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing. (wish I did.) This story will probably be out of character, but I personally believe that Miss Bingley was just trying to make Darcy fall in love with her. The story will begin not long after the engagament and will probably end in the wedding. Please don't flame if you don't like the story.

Chapter 1.  
  
He was getting married. He, the love of her life, the one person she had ever considered giving her hand and love to was marrying somebody so very much beneath him.  
  
_Click, click, click._  
  
Her shoes made echoing noises as she walked through Pemberley. Merely a week after Darcy had proposed to Elizabeth Bennet she and her brother had come to stay at Pemberley, with his fiancé, Jane Bennet.  
  
She didn't mind Jane, really she didn't, her brother could have done much better, but she could accept that Jane would become her sister. Elizabeth, on the other hand, deserved nothing of the sort. She was unworthy of Darcy.  
  
_I hate her. How dare she just waltz into a society she doesn't deserve and take the only person I have ever loved.  
_  
She loved her sister and, rather grudgingly, her brother too. They were after all her only family. Once upon a time Darcy could have also been in that family as well, but now...  
  
_Damn her. Click, click, click._  
  
The two couples had been so loved up that night that Caroline had to leave the room at one point for the sake of her sanity. Louisa had stayed at Netherfield with her own husband so that left Caroline with two people she thought were so perfect they couldn't be true, one person she loathed with a vengeance, another that she loved more that life itself and only Georgiana for sanity.  
  
But now she had decided to prove to all of them that she did love him more than life itself. She wondered vaguely if it would be worth it. Was he worth that to her.?  
  
Yes. She had loved him since the moment she had met him and she would love him until the day she died, even if it happened to be tonight. Tonight was the last night she would ever have to suffer the knowledge that her Mr Darcy was to wed Elizabeth.  
  
Click, click, click.  
  
She had reached her destination. The room that the old Mrs Darcy had written her letters in. With no view of the lake, nobody could see her from any window. She felt a single tear fall down her cheek and she reached the desk to write a letter, she supposed it was what she should do.  
  
_Dearest Darcy,  
I tried my hardest to make you love me, but I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried and how much I wanted you to. I must have gone about it the wrong way, I tried to be the society woman you always seemed to want, but you never looked twice. I wish I knew what Elizabeth Bennet had that enchanted you so, was it truly her eyes.? They were indeed beautiful, but how could they entice a man such as you so easily.? You who always demanded the very best of everything. When we left the Hertfordshire ladies I thought it was only a matter of time, but I was very foolish to believe that. Enjoy your life as make it a good one. I wish you only the best of happiness my darling.  
All my love,  
Caroline._  
  
And there she sat, for a long time, staring out of the window as the orange light arrived on the horizon and her face was wet form silent tears. She left the room for the deep lake outside. At least drowning meant that her body and features would be preserved, and she was a vain creature if nothing else.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.  
  
_ ...best of happiness, my darling.  
All my love,  
Caroline_  
  
Bingley would never forgive him if he didn't find his sister when she was in such distress. His mind immediately began to think of where she could be;  
  
She wasn't in the study and none of the letter openers were missing.  
  
She couldn't have jumped, she just couldn't have. Caroline wasn't the type to damage her own body like that, she would undoubtedly think of something more elegant.  
  
There was nothing poisonous in the house and he doubted Caroline even knew where the pantry or greenhouse were. Or what they were. She was a material girl.  
  
So unlike Elizabeth. Lizzy was a woman who understood and appreciated the simpler things in life and he loved her dearly for it. He had been in love with her for a long time, but he believed the first time she had fallen for him, was when she had seen him at the lake.  
  
_The lake._  
  
He ran down the stairs. Drowning would preserve somebody. All he could think of was that Caroline apparently loved him more than anybody had ever loved somebody.  
  
He had thought it was simply an infatuation of hers, she wanted him for his position, but he had been wrong. He couldn't believe that his own blindness meant one of his oldest friends was going to die.  
  
For he had grown up with the Bingley's. A very respectable family, not quite as wealthy as his own family, but with fortune enough to travel in the same circles as he did.  
  
And she wasn't as bad as the world thought she was.  
  
When his father had died, it had been she who had listened to him on the long nights. That was when she had just been introduced into society at 20 years old and she hadn't worn a mask.  
  
She had been beautiful then.  
  
_She still is. When you get to see her as she is, on her own._  
  
When he had been in his darkest hour after the death, she had been there for not only him, but Georgiana, whom she adored.  
  
It was at that time he had considered asking her to marry him, but by then her older sister had taught her how to have an acid tongue in society and she had become the person the world now knew.  
  
The person he just witnessed jump into his lake with her hair flying and her night dress flowing in the breeze.  
  
The second she hit the water he dived in after her.  
  
She saw him and struggled against his arms furiously, screaming to leave her alone.  
  
But he wouldn't.  
  
He grabbed her upper-arm and dragged her to the edge of the lake, the water engulfing them both as they splashed against the surface.  
  
She seemed to accept that he wasn't going to leave her and she became less of a hindrance and more of a help as he pulled them both onto the bank.  
  
Panting for air they both collapsed onto the grass, he wanting this nightmare to end and she wishing that it could have been somebody else to find her.  
  
She raised her eyes to his, but couldn't bare to look at him for long, she would just again promise herself what she knew she could never have.  
  
He shook his head in despair and whispered imploringly what he had going through his head.  
  
"Why.? Why on earth would anything make you want to end your life.?"  
  
"I believe you read my note, if you are here you must have."  
  
"Why did you chose me Madam.? Why could you not chose another man to look after you.?"  
  
"Did you not understand my meaning, Mr Darcy.? I did not chose you to look after me.! I do not need looking after.! I love you. And I always have.!"  
  
He stopped still.  
  
_It has always been implied, but never before had she said the words._  
  
And it was frightening him.  
  
Proud Mr Darcy was afraid of a woman telling him proclamations of love. Not just any woman though, Caroline Bingley. Whom he had adored for a time. But he loved Elizabeth now.  
  
_Damn this woman, she waits till now to tell me the fullness of her feelings._  
  
In the sunrise she did look very beautiful.  
  
Her eyes, so much darker than Lizzy's were glowing in the sun and her skin was clear from the make up she wore. He was surprised at how she looked, he had thought she wore the make-up to hide plainness, but she didn't. she was very striking. As much so as he remembered  
  
Her clothes were not the usual bright and obtrusive colours she wore. It was a simple night-dress, but it was made of silk, dark and sleeveless. It clung to her curves from the water and it made her look very lovely indeed.  
  
But her hair was the most obvious thing. Out of her usual knot it was a lot longer than he had thought.  
  
The dark curls tumbled down her shoulders and they were so similar, yet so different from Lizzy's. He leaned in closer and unable to resist kissed her lightly and was unsuprised when she returned it with a passion.  
  
Realising what he was doing Darcy stopped abruptly and pulled away.  
  
"Come on, you should return to the house before you catch your death of cold."  
  
She stood up shakily and he placed an arm behind her shoulders to steady her and together, shivering in the morning cold they returned to Pemberley. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.  
  
_Why didn't he just let me drown and end this pitiful existence of mine.?_  
  
They were the only thoughts in her head as she walked down the hall to breakfast. She had walked back to her bedroom earlier, numb, not just from the cold but from Darcy's kiss.  
  
He had kissed her, not the other way around. Their brief moment hadn't been the desperation of a mad woman, but rather him finally yielding to her. But she knew it was still useless, he was engaged to Elizabeth and he would not change his mind.  
  
Nobody would ever know what had happened by the lake and she knew Darcy would see to it that nobody ever knew.  
  
But then again, he had found her, he had saved her, he had kissed her.  
  
She entered the dining room and found the two couples and Georgiana already seated, but none of them very far into their meal.  
  
"Caroline, good morning."  
  
Her brother greeted her jovially as usual, completely unaware of what was going on in her head at that very moment.  
  
"Good morning Charles, Jane, Georgiana. Elizabeth, you're looking well this morning...Good Morning Darcy."  
  
She inclined her head to each of them, smiled slightly and took her place next to Georgiana. She ate in silence, listening to, but not really hearing her brother's plans to go shooting for the day. She perked up when Darcy offered to join him, but again she didn't so much as make eye-contact with the love of her life.  
  
"Caroline, are you quite all right this morning. You seem awfully quiet."  
  
"Yes, thank you Georgiana I'm fine. I just didn't sleep to well. Perhaps it was the cold I seem to be coming down with something."  
  
"I do hope you're all right. I was planning to play for Jane and Elizabeth this afternoon and I was hoping you could show me a new song, or help me improve another one. You do play very well."  
  
When Caroline merely nodded demurely and Jane and Elizabeth shared sceptical looks, Georgiana seemed to misread their faces.  
  
"Oh but she does play well. Doesn't she Mr Bingley.? And you must have noticed brother.? I remember you being enraptured when Caroline last player for us."  
  
Darcy turned scarlet.  
  
"Well she does play exquisitely. I suppose those years of practice paid off, you are very skilled with the piano Miss Bingley."  
  
Caroline flushed red and suddenly became very interested in her toast. Georgiana finally seemed satisfied and returned to her own breakfast without, albeit unknowingly, embarrassing Caroline and her brother further.  
  
The meal carried on with little conversation and within ten minutes Elizabeth and Jane excused themselves for a walk around the grounds and Bingley soon followed to prepare for the day.  
  
Georgiana was happy again, although she liked Bingley and she had become very fond of Elizabeth and Jane, her brother and Caroline were her favourite people.  
  
Caroline was a sister to her in every sense of the word, it had been Caroline who had taken care of her after her father had died and she had been the one to help her brother, convincing him that it truly wasn't the end of the world.  
  
At one time she had hoped that her brother would propose to Caroline, but he never had and then he had told her he was rather taken with a Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Of course Georgiana had not been prejudiced when she met Elizabeth and had treated her kindly, but she had found that it was all honest and she did truly like Elizabeth. But Caroline would always hold a place in her heart.  
  
Georgiana finished her breakfast and left the two of them to be silently together. Even though he was marrying Elizabeth, she could still hope in the back of her mind. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
The second his sister left Darcy turned to Caroline and noticed that she was determinably staring at her food, but she was eating very slowly.  
  
_Damn that woman. What does she want from me.?_  
  
"Are you feeling better now Miss Bingley.?"  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
"You seem awfully pale. Perhaps you should see the doctor."  
  
"I said I'm fine."  
  
She dropped her fork and rose from her seat.  
  
"Do not tell Charles I didn't eat this morning. He worries enough."  
  
"Miss Bingley..where..?"  
  
She began moving towards the door, ignoring him all the way.  
  
"Miss Bingley...Caroline."  
  
She stopped. He never called her by name, he was always dreadfully formally. He must be desperate to talk to her if he resorted to using her Christian name.  
  
"What do you want from me, Mr Darcy.? Validation that I will not again attempt...what I tried this morning. Or certainty that I will not tell your fiancé what transpired afterwards.?"  
  
"This is not about Elizabeth."  
  
"Of course it is.! You simply do not want your reputation as an honourable and respectable man to be tarnished in front of this woman. Especially by another woman her whole family detests."  
  
"I am positive the Bennet's do not detest you Miss Bingley."  
  
"And where is your authority for that.?"  
  
He couldn't answer. He knew perfectly well, as did she, that she was not well liked by anybody in Longbourne, or anywhere around it.  
  
"You see Mr Darcy, in trying to become the kind of woman I thought you wanted I have become the epitome of everything you dislike. I thought when I first came into society that I was nothing, that you deserved so much more, even though I loved you so much, even then. I knew you were always friendly towards me, but I thought that was just because I am your friend's sister. I wanted you to love me. After I helped Georgiana with the loss of your father, I tried to become like the other woman in society. But you still fell in love with somebody else. Last night I came to the conclusion. I can not win, whatever I do."  
  
"You became I loathed but I still loved you for a long time. When you were first introduced I loved you."  
  
"Then why did you not tell me.? We could have stopped this whole business long ago and been married."  
  
"Because you changed. Overnight you became even worse than your sister. I mean no disrespect to Mrs Hurst, but she made you what you are."  
  
"And what am I.?"  
  
"I wish I knew."  
  
"I know. I'm not Elizabeth Bennet."  
  
"You were once. Do you remember when you first came into society.? I loved you..."  
  
"And I you. So why weren't we married then.?"  
  
"By the time I had the courage, you had changed."  
  
"So my chances with the love of my life were ruined because I was of a wretched disposition and I scared him."  
  
"Just forget the past Miss Bingley."  
  
"I can't forget what I have felt for so many years. I love you, with all of my heart and soul and..."  
  
"Damn you Caroline.! Damn you for loving me and damn you for making me fall in love with you again.!"  
  
She moved quickly towards him and she lifted his face to look at her. She slid her body next to his and caught his lips in their second kiss for the day. She had expected an immediate reproach but he clutched her shoulders as though they were his last chance for survival.  
  
They heard a voice above them and were abruptly reminded of the situation. He stopped the kiss and gazed at her with wonder, as if trying to gage if what had happened was true.  
  
"No, it can not be."  
  
He stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him and leaving her alone in the Dining room. Her heart was slowly breaking and her eyes began to water again.  
  
Furious at herself for allowing him to affect her so much she began another walk through the halls and felt disgusted at herself, when she realised she was moving to the lake again. She didn't stop moving, however. She kept walking, hearing Georgiana's piano playing in the distance, and came to an abrupt halt on the bank, 10 feet from the edge.  
  
She had no more suicidal intentions, but this was the spot where, for a fleeting moment, she had dared to believe that Darcy loved her.  
  
She sat down on the edge of the bank and didn't move until the sun was high in the sky. She could still hear Georgiana's playing in the back of her mind and knew that the girl would soon grow to love Elizabeth more than she did Caroline, and this hurt as well, she adored Georgiana.  
  
Realising that if she didn't attend the lunch she had been planning to skip the others would tell Charles and he would give her another lecture about how she must eat to stay healthy, she began her walk back to the house, remembering that it was only her, Georgiana and the Bennet sisters.  
  
_Wonderful. Simply marvellous._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
She arrived at the Dining room and, impulsively checking her appearance in the mirror, she was happy to discover it was not obvious she had been crying.  
  
They didn't speak to Caroline as she entered and took her seat, in fact it was almost as if Elizabeth knew from the stoniness of her face, but then again, thought Caroline, she always looks like that when I am in the room.  
  
Settling herself she managed to raise a smile for Georgiana, who was happily listening to Jane talk about something or other. That girl would soon be taken away from her.  
  
"After lunch, Caroline, will you come and help me at the piano.?"  
  
Caught off guard, Caroline immediately agreed, she had not expected anyone to speak to her throughout the entire meal.  
  
"Will you be joining us Jane, and you Elizabeth.?"  
  
"Of course. There is nothing we love more than to hear Georgiana play at her piano, is there Jane.?"  
  
"Indeed, there is nothing."  
  
Caroline scowled inwardly at the two treating Georgiana as though she were glass and would shatter irreparably if not told half-truths. She had proved she was strong when she had been through so much at an early age and still maintained a cheerful disposition.  
  
The meal finished with the sisters still talking, Georgiana listening as though theirs was the correct way to behave and Caroline refusing wholeheartedly to listen to either of them. The four women made their way to the pure white music room, that held the magnificent piano Mr Darcy had given his sister not long ago.  
  
"Now Georgiana, which songs do you want to play for me.?"  
  
"Well I was hoping I could play you one of the latest songs I have learnt and you could help me improve."  
  
"I will listen, but I doubt there will be much I can teach you."  
  
Georgiana smiled and took her seat at the instrument. She soon became engrossed in playing her favourite melody and only knew two facts; that she was playing and that Caroline was turning the pages of the sheeted music, unnecessarily as she knew the notes by heart.  
  
Caroline spent the time ignoring the Bennet sisters and focussing on helping Georgiana improve but, she was pleased to see, she saw now problems in the way the girl was playing. She could just teach her young friend a new song as she promised.  
  
In her fantasy, she was married to Mr Darcy and she helped Georgiana practice everyday like a big sister rather than just a distant friend. They were only loosely aquatinted with the Bennets, if indeed they knew them at all.  
  
That life would be perfect, but it would never be...not now anyway. If only she'd tried harder. Just a little bit harder.  
  
"Caroline...are you all right.? Caroline.!"  
  
Before she could move to comfort Georgiana in her distress she felt her body hit the floor with a soft thud; then the world became black. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
When she finally awoke her head was pounding – what was happening.?  
  
There was nobody around, she was alone and in her bedroom, but she could barely move. She remembered watching Georgiana play and then...nothing.  
  
Footsteps...or was her brain just pounding against her skull unrelentlessly.  
  
The door opened; it was just the doctor, and Elizabeth was behind him. She tried to speak, but her throat wouldn't allow her speech, she tried moving her hand, it lifted off her bed, but they didn't notice; they were too busy talking.  
  
"What's wrong with her doctor.? Is it serious.?"  
  
"I do not believe so. It may just be the flu, but it is not common at the moment. It is perhaps just a cold – if it is, she has been very unlucky, the influenza has hit her hard, but it is my firmest belief that she will be well again very soon."  
  
The doctor left the room to Elizabeth and Caroline, the former unaware that the latter was conscious and could hear everything that was being said. Elizabeth squeezed out a towel in a white bowl and wiped at Caroline's forehead. Above all things this surprised her, Elizabeth Bennet, who had always hated her and made no secret of it, was showing her one of the simplest signs of tenderness.  
  
True, she thought Caroline wasn't aware of what she was doing but she was still doing this for her even with several servants all around the house who were paid to do this sort of thing.  
  
"I wish you would wake up, Miss Bingley. It is much easier to argue with somebody who isn't ill...I do not want to have animosity against you, but Darcy has been so worried. If only you knew he was by your bedside every afternoon – just to check you're getting better. If only you knew, it is your dream come true I believe. I understand human nature better than either of you think. I know he once loved you and one would have to be blind to not notice your affections for him. I do not know what happened between you, but I know what you did to postpone my sister's happiness and I would like to believe you did it for love of your brother, it is what Jane believes, but I know better."  
  
She dropped the cloth into the bowl and sighed.  
  
"Everything is right with everybody – except you. I dearly hope that things will be but it is hard. You will not talk to either Jane or I; we know so little about you and what little time you do spend in company is occupied with either Mr Bingley or Georgiana. If only you would talk to us, we are willing to put old differences aside. I hope you can do the same."  
  
Picking up the cloth again she began playing with it in between her fingers.  
  
"He worries about you a lot. It shows his compassion, but I am ashamed to admit I am jealous. You possess the elegance I would have expected him to want. For both our sakes Miss Bingley, wake up."  
  
Deciding that was a good cue, Caroline acted waking up. She had only opened her eyes once so the shock of the light wasn't acted, she finally found the strength to move her body and with the help of Elizabeth she forced herself into a sitting position. She smiled weakly.  
  
"How are you feeling.?"  
  
"I am fine, thank you. How long have you being watching over me, I expect I look a state."  
  
"I would not worry about such a thing now Miss Bingley, you have been quite unwell."  
  
"What happened to me.?"  
  
"You fainted in the music room, Georgiana was frantic as you would expect, she holds you in high regard. She kept trying to wake you up and ended up in tears, Jane called for the doctor and then I sent her to fetch your brother and Mr Darcy. They were both much aghast to learn you were ill."  
  
She couldn't think of anything to say to that proclamation that wouldn't cause the younger woman to raise arms.  
  
"Where are they now.?"  
  
"Hunting I believe. They will be back for dinner but the doctor insists you stay to your bed until you are recovered."  
  
"I am assured I will be perfectly well within two days. I am never ill long."  
  
"I know. My fiancé told me, he mentioned a cold you caught once during a summer season you stayed at Pemberley. He looked rather amused but he would not elaborate."  
  
Caroline smiled to herself, she remembered that particular summer very well. They had barely been ten and eleven years old when she had caught a mild cold; that time she had refused to stay in bed and climbed out of her window to play with Darcy and her brother. Then she had fallen in the lake, she never could swim, and Darcy had rescued her.  
  
He had been so proud to be the hero, however the cold had got worse and she had been stuck in bed during the heat of summer for a week and a half. Every day the boys had come to visit her and play cards with her.  
  
"I do not believe anybody who knew me as a child will ever let me forget that incident. I am surprised Darcy remembered it for so long."  
  
"Are you truly surprised.?"  
  
The look Elizabeth fixed her with was hard to pinpoint. She looked half- angry, half-anxious. That could only really mean one thing.  
  
_Did Elizabeth really see her as a threat.? As a rival for Darcy's affection.?  
_  
"What do you mean.?"  
  
She didn't mean to, she really didn't; but she had succeeded in sounding as though she was doing it all on purpose. Like she was playing innocent and this was a game.  
  
"You are fully aware of what I mean. Do not play with his mind. I am glad you're awake and well, but please leave us alone."  
  
"Glad I'm awake – only because it's easier to argue with me like this. Where have the sentiments of putting old differences aside gone.?"  
  
Elizabeth looked startled that the older woman had just quoted her own word back at her and Caroline was sorry, she had not meant to argue, but sometimes she was so infuriating...  
  
"You were awake.? Then you heard what I said."  
  
Caroline nodded and was about to make amends but Elizabeth left the room hastily. She was left with only herself to talk to.  
  
"And I have no desire to steal Darcy from you Eliza. He is my past; but your future." 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
  
A week. A week she had been confined to her bed with a god-forsaken cold; she hated getting ill, it left her out of the loop and she had always missed so much activity.  
  
However this time she could not bring herself to care.  
  
In three days Darcy and Elizabeth would wed, but the odd thing, she discovered, was her passiveness towards the whole business. She cared about him – but he was gone now.  
  
She was surprised her invitation for the wedding was still valid, after her discussion with Elizabeth she had expected to be banned from the event; but Darcy had come to visit her, with her brother in tow, to say he would postpone the ceremony until she was better.  
  
Surprised she had informed him that he should go ahead with it if she wasn't there – but he said it would be the most important day of his life and he wanted ALL his friends there. She had smiled and said she would do her very best.  
  
Then Charles had broken out the cards and the three of them were soon laughing about that summer and they were nearly children again. Charles discovered that Caroline still knew how to cheat at most of the games; courtesy of Darcy's teaching of course, and had they been playing for money she would have inherited most of her father's fortune off her brother.  
  
When the men had left Georgiana had come to visit. Even with her sweet words and running commentary on the wedding plans, Caroline still couldn't bring herself to be angry or annoyed with the girl.  
  
Every day Georgiana returned with more news and a tray of beverages. Caroline had started eating properly again and she was well enough to get up in a matter of a week. They had then returned briefly to Netherfield and now she was choosing an outfit to wear to the wedding out of her rather vast wardrobe.  
  
For the first time she wished everything she owned wasn't some startling and obtrusive colour – lime green and orange were apparently two of her favourites.  
  
An idea struck her, probably the only beautiful dress she owned; she rummaged through the shelves with new vigour.  
  
_Where is it...? It has to be here somewhere......there.!_  
  
The dress was the one she had worn to her coming out ball; and what an impact she had made back then.!  
  
Before her sister had tamed her she had not cared what the rest of society thought, that night for her had been an excuse for her, Charles and Darcy to laugh with their other friends. They had controlled themselves for most of the night but she still thought the silliest thing the musicians had done was to play a country-dance.  
  
She and Darcy, who had his ball the previous year, had been the new darlings of society whom most the old, meddlesome women were trying to marry off and they could not resist the opportunity to show off. They had joined in this particular dance with enthusiasm and as they had already had quite an amount of wine that night, a spectacle of themselves they did make.  
  
Thankfully nobody in society ever spoke of it again as not long after Darcy had become resolutely MR. Darcy and she had begun her lets-make-everybody- hate-me campaign. The two of them still remembered and it was quite possibly the reason they had not danced much at the first ball they had attended in Hertfordshire.  
  
The night she remembered with some dread but the dress she had worn was still stunning even now – several years after it had been hidden in the back of her armoire.  
  
A deep red that everybody had said complemented her pale skin and back hair was the colour of the silk it was made of. The elbow-length sleeves were embroidered with gold stitching she was pleased to note had not fallen slightly out of place. She chose one of her more ridiculous overcoats for the ceremony itself – _wouldn't want to annoy anybody by wearing such a rich colour in a church.  
  
_She placed the dress carefully into her trunk and picked out her favourite pieces of jewellery that would compliment the outfit wonderfully. Feeling that her choice was a good one, for once, she called for the trunk to be taken down to the carriage. She had come back to Hertfordshire to collect her clothes and her sister; who was STILL complaining about Jane.  
  
They set off for Pemberley knowing full well that the rest of the Bennet's, save for the youngest girl and her husband, would likely already be there. Caroline was really trying not to snipe at them, but with such easy targets it was hard to control her tongue – her sister on the other hand didn't seem to mind that she offended anybody; then again she never had.  
  
The days became quicker until the morning of the wedding loomed and Darcy had taken to pacing in his spare time, Caroline would dearly have loved to talk to him and calm him but Louisa was now taking up all of her time. She made gaps of hours for Georgiana though, she couldn't ignore the young girl and it was a welcome relief from her sister.  
  
At eleven o'clock in the morning all the guests were assembled in the church, waiting for the brides to enter the room; Caroline held her breath for long periods at a time, trying to keep herself calm...and it wasn't even her wedding.!  
  
She briefly caught eye contact with Darcy and gave him a reassuring smile and he looked somewhat calmer. Happy to have helped she didn't have much time to think before the doors opened and the Bennet sisters entered. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

They were married. He was gone and anything they could have had was done. And she was happy. Although she had spent a good five years of her life being in love with this man, she was happy, because he was.

Now, at least, she would not have to live for the rest of her life with the though of what might have been. He was happy with Elizabeth Bennet and now she felt like she could breath again. The dance was over.

The light she had been trying to catch up with for all these years had turned out to be a carriage that had run her over from both directions.

__

At least now I can prove that I do actually have a heart.

Everybody in the wedding party had returned to Pemberley, where the ball was commencing for both the couples. Caroline sat with her sister and was succeeding in her task of trying not to look down her nose at the Bennet's poor relation, it was easier when the dancing began.

The two new couples began their steps and Louisa began to waffle on about the state of Jane's dress, and although she thought Jane looked lovely, Caroline made every effort to nod in agreement every now and then.

"Caroline, are you listening to me.?"

"Of course I am Louisa, do go on."

"You seem very distracted. Perhaps your final farewell to Mr Darcy is weighing upon you. You brought it upon yourself though, you became what he didn't want…"

"Only because of you.! Were you aware that when I came into society he loved me. He loved me and you told me I was too plain and vulgar. You turned me into a miniature you and lost me his love. And for that I hate you.!"

She stood from her seat and left her shocked sister knowing that it would be a long time before Louisa spoke to her again, but still happy.

__

One down.

She stopped by her brother to offer her congratulations and ask Jane if she could speak to her privately. They walked into the deserted hallway and Caroline, gaining her courage, began to speak.

"I am very sorry for the way I treated you Jane. I was very unfair, because of my own prejudice towards your acquaintances. I beg you to forgive me, and I hope we can begin our friendship again."

"Caroline, I had already forgiven you for everything when I saw you at the wedding. I'm grateful you came, I realise can't have been easy for you. And we don't just have a friendship; we are sisters now."

And she smiled that smile that even Caroline couldn't find something horrible to say about. She couldn't help it, she smiled herself, without any malice or mockery and threw her arms around Jane who reciprocated with equal glee.

"Come now, we must return, before we are missed and before I start to cry."

She laughed and returned to the party with Jane who, with a final smile, returned to her new husband.

__

Two down, two to go.

She scanned the crowd for Elizabeth Darcy and found her talking to Georgiana, her new husband was elsewhere.

__

Good; that will make it considerably easier.

Elizabeth stopped talking and her face became stonier, however Georgiana smiled, which was all the encouragement she was going to receive.

"Elizabeth, may I have a moment of your time. Can we go for a walk.?"

"I can find no reason to disagree Miss Bingley."

"Caroline."

Elizabeth nodded in acceptance and they both headed for the door and left the room. The newlywed turned suddenly the second they left the ball.

"There is no need for us to go further Miss Bingley, if you have anything to say please say it now. I do not wish to be away from my family and husband for long."

So she wanted something said; but what to say. Caroline could think of only too many things she would like to say to this girl, but she settled for what she had originally decided.

"Look after him. I'm asking you as a friend please Elizabeth, hold onto Darcy with all that you have."

Elizabeth went quiet and her face was unreadable, taking what was left of her dignity Caroline turned around to leave.

"Did you truly love him.?"

"Yes. Very much so."

"Then why did you not tell him before I came into his life.?"

"I was never good enough for him."

"And I am.?"

"You reached his standards. I did once, but I think I rather exceeded them and I became too much for him. I kept trying though; a wasted five years. Enjoy him Elizabeth, he is the best of men."

"For myself I will look after him, Miss Bingley, but I am touched by your concern for him, even after he has made his choice."

"I loved him Elizabeth."

"In the past you loved him.? You have forsaken him.?"

"There will always be a place for him in my heart, but as you said he has made his choice and as you know, his word is final at Pemberley."

Elizabeth went quiet again. Then she moved slowly towards Caroline and looking into her pale face, she put her arms around the taller woman. At first Caroline was shocked, this woman hated her, why was she hugging her.?

She didn't want to ask. She just embraced her back, and knowing that she still needed to talk to Darcy himself, she was reluctant to let go.

"Now if you'll excuse me Eliza, I must speak with your husband. Please allow me to say my final farewells."

"Of course Miss Bingley."

Leaving she couldn't help but mutter; "My name is Caroline."

Elizabeth laughed; at least she wasn't offended. The bride soon followed Caroline through the door and watched as the woman slowly moved her way over to Darcy.

__

Good luck, Caroline. I hope you don't realise you could still have had him.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Mr Darcy was talking to her brother as she approached him, he was her when she was half way towards them but he didn't cease talking; apparently he could guess what was about to come.

"Hello Darcy. Charles I believe Jane is looking for you."

Her brother left swiftly to find his new bride, who smiled reassuringly in Caroline's direction when her husband reached her.

"I should have known you'd manoeuvre us into this position Miss Bingley."

"You really do know me. I thought it would be appropriate to say our final farewells; in a manner of speaking."

Darcy was quiet for a moment – developing a pensive look upon his face.

"Can we go somewhere else to talk.?"

Silently Darcy walked out of the room by a closed door that nobody would have seen unless they knew it was there. They walked around the grounds of the great estate in complete silence until they both stopped dead a short distance from the lake.

At that moment they could read each other's minds.

"Is this where we say goodbye to the past Miss Bingley.?"

"Yes it is. And in the name of god will you please call me Caroline.? Surely we have known each other long enough.?"

"Just a gentleman's formality. How long have we known each other now.?"

"Too long. Long enough so that it should be me with a ring on my finger, but do not despair – I am just stating."

"I will always hold in my head the first time I ever saw you in society. I had always known you of course, but it was the first time I really SAW you. You were so lovely then."

"You belong with her Darcy. Don't worry about me, I'll soon find somebody else to obsess over."

They both smiled.

"You'll always be welcome at Pemberley. There will always be a place for you at the table."

"Thank you. I will be sure to always presume upon your hospitality."

"I had forgotten what a joy it is to talk to the real you."

"Well I am back for good; you will never get rid of me."

"Come…we should get back to the house. They will wonder where we are."

He started to walk but she didn't move from her spot by the lake.

"Are you ready Caroline.?"

"Yes Darcy; I think I am."

((little bit corny last line I know – but I really wanted to put it in))


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The deed was done. She had finally managed to say her farewells to Mr Darcy and now she was moving on; to whom or what she did not know.

"I always love a wedding."

"Yes…have we met.?"

"I feared you would not remember me Miss Bingley, we met but once many years ago, I am the Colonel Fitzwilliam, Mr Darcy's cousin. I believe you are well aquatinted with him.?"

"Yes, very well Colonel. I am sorry not to remember you."

She wasn't lying. He was handsome and he had an air about him that suggested elegance. And…why was he looking at her like that.?

"I could never forget you Miss Bingley. Darcy spoke of you quite often for a time, when he ceased to mention you I thought you have been married. I am glad to make your acquaintance again though."

She smiled slightly, but with little conviction. This soon…_was it wise.?_

"I was hoping to be married by this age myself. My father recently passed away leaving me with his estate and, unlike my cousin, I am not happy with solitude. The house is simply too large for me."

A new kind of smile graced her face and her vice regained its mezzo quality.

"Oh I say…" _definite advantages._ "Do tell me more."

The End.


End file.
